ELOVED FARMERS: Agrikultur iz the mother ov farm produce; she is also the step-mother ov gardin sass.
Rize at half-past 2 o’clock in the morning, bild up a big fire in the kitchen, burn out two pounds ov kandles, and grease yure boots. Wait pashuntly for dabrake. When day duz brake, then commence tew stir up the geese and worry the hogs.
Too mutch sleep iz ruinous tew geese and tew hogs. Remember yu kant git rich on a farm, unless yu rize at 2 o’clock in the morning, and stir up the hogs and worry the geese.
The happyest man in the world iz the farmer; he rizes at 2 o’clock in the morning, he watches for da lite tew brake, and when she duz brake, he goes out and stirs up the geese and worrys the hogs.
What iz a lawyer!—What iz a merchant?—What iz a doktor?—What iz a minister?—I answer, nothing!
A farmer is the nobless work ov God; he rizes at 2 o’clock in the morning, and burns out a half a pound ov wood and two kords of kandles, and then goes out tew worry the geese and stir up the hogs.
Beloved farmers, adew.
Josh Billings.
