Weel mounted on his gray mare Meg
(A better never lifted leg),
Tam skelpit[64] on through dub and mire,
Despising wind, and rain, and fire;
Whiles holding fast his guid blue bonnet,
Whiles crooning o'er some auld Scots sonnet,
Whiles glow'ring round wi' prudent cares,
Lest bogles[65] catch him unawares;
Kirk-Alloway was drawing nigh,
Whaur ghaists and houlets[66] nightly cry.
By this time he was 'cross the ford,
Whaur in the snaw the chapman smoored;[67]
And past the birks and meikle stane,
Whaur drunken Charlie brak's neck-bane;
And through the whins, and by the cairn,
Whaur hunters fand the murdered bairn;
And near the thorn, aboon the well,
Whaur Mungo's mither hanged hersel'.
Before him Doon pours all his floods;
The doubling storm roars through the woods;
The lightnings flash from pole to pole;
Near and more near the thunders roll;
When, glimmering through the groaning trees,
Kirk-Alloway seemed in a bleeze;
Through ilka bore[68] the beams were glancing;
And loud resounded mirth and dancing.
Inspiring, bold John Barleycorn!
What dangers thou canst mak' us scorn!
Wi' tippenny[69] we fear nae evil;
Wi' usquabae[70] we'll face the devil!
The swats[71] sae reamed[72] in Tammie's noddle,
Fair play, he cared na de'ils a boddle.[73]
But Maggie stood right sair astonished,
Till, by the heel and hand admonished
She ventured forward on the light;
And wow! Tam saw an unco sight!
Warlocks and witches in a dance;
Nae cotillion brent new frae France,
But hornpipes, jigs, strathspeys, and reels
Put life and mettle in their heels.
At winnock-bunker[74] in the east,
There sat auld Nick, in shape o' beast;—
A towzie tyke,[75] black, grim, and large;
To gi'e them music was his charge:
He screwed the pipes and gart them skirl,[76]
Till roof and rafters a' did dirl![77]
Coffins stood round, like open presses,
That shawed the dead in their last dresses;
And by some devilish cantrip[78] slight,
Each in its cauld hand held a light,
By which heroic Tam was able
To note upon the haly table
A murderer's banes in gibbet airns;[79]
Twa span-lang, wee unchristened bairns;
A thief new-cutted frae a rape,
Wi' his last gasp his gab[80] did gape;
Five tomahawks, wi' bluid red-rusted;
Five scimitars wi' murder crusted;
A garter which a babe had strangled;
A knife a father's throat had mangled,
Whom his ain son o' life bereft—
The gray hairs yet stack to the heft:
Wi' mair o' horrible and awfu',
Which ev'n to name wad be unlawfu'.
As Tammie glow'red,[81] amazed and curious,
The mirth and fun grew fast and furious:
The piper loud and louder blew;
The dancers quick and quicker flew;
They reeled, they set, they crossed, they cleekit,[82]
Till ilka carlin[83] swat and reekit,[84]
And coost[85] her duddies[86] to the wark,
And linket[87] at it in her sark![88]
Now Tam, O Tam! had they been queans
A' plump and strapping, in their teens;
Their sarks, instead o' creeshie flannen,[89]
Been snaw-white seventeen-hunder linen[90],
Thir breeks[91] o' mine, my only pair,
That ance were plush, o' guid blue hair,
I wad hae gi'en them off my hurdies,
For ane blink o' the bonnie burdies!
But withered beldams old and droll,
Rigwoodie[92] hags wad spean[93] a foal,
Lowping and flinging on a crummock,[94]
I wonder didna turn thy stomach.
But Tam kenned what was what fu' brawlie:
"There was ae winsome wench and walie,"[95]
That night inlisted in the core
(Lang after kenned on Carrick shore!
For mony a beast to dead she shot,
And perished mony a bonnie boat,
And shook baith meikle corn and bear,[96]
And kept the country-side in fear),
Her cutty sark,[97] o' Paisley harn,[98]
That while a lassie she had worn,
In longitude though sorely scanty,
It was her best, and she was vauntie.[99]
Ah! little kenned thy reverend grannie,
That sark she coft[100] for her wee Nannie,
Wi' twa pund Scots ('twas a' her riches),
Wad ever graced a dance of witches!
But here my muse her wing maun cour[101];
Sic flights are far beyond her power:
To sing how Nannie lap and flang
(A souple jade she was and strang),
And how Tam stood like ane bewitched,
And thought his very een enriched;
Even Satan glow'red and fidged fu' fain,
And hotched and blew wi' might and main:
Till first ae caper, syne anither,
Tam tints[102] his reason a'thegither,
And roars out, "Weel done, Cutty-sark!"
And in an instant all was dark;
And scarcely had he Maggie rallied,
When out the hellish legion sallied.
As bees bizz out wi' angry fyke,[103]
When plundering hords assail their byke[104];
As open pussie's mortal foes
When, pop! she starts before their nose;
As eager runs the market-crowd,
When "Catch the thief!" resounds aloud;
So Maggie runs, the witches follow,
Wi' mony an eldritch[105] screech and hollow.
Ah, Tam! ah, Tam, thou'll get thy fairin'!
In hell they'll roast thee like a herrin'!
In vain thy Kate awaits thy comin'!
Kate soon will be a woefu' woman!
Now, do thy speedy utmost, Meg,
And win the keystane of the brig;
There at them thou thy tail may toss,—
A running stream they dare na cross.
But ere the keystane she could make,
The fient a tail she had to shake!
For Nannie, far before the rest,
Hard upon noble Maggie prest,
And flew at Tam wi' furious ettle;
But little wist she Maggie's mettle—
Ae spring brought off her master hale,
But left behind her ain grey tail:
The carlin claught her by the rump,
And left poor Maggie scarce a stump!