Great God—again assuming that there is a God—our
king—simply an allegorical phrase and
not intended offensively to any taxpayer."
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE;
Or, the Wonderful "One-hoss Shay"
A Logical Story
Have you heard of the wonderful one-hoss shay
That was built in such a logical way,
It ran a hundred years to a day,
And then, of a sudden, it—ah, but stay,
I'll tell you what happened without delay,
Scaring the parson into fits,
Frightening people out of their wits——
Have you ever heard of that, I say?
Seventeen hundred and fifty-five.
Georgius Secundus was then alive——
Snuffy old drone from the German hive.
That was the year when Lisbon-town
Saw the earth open and gulp her down,
And Braddock's army was done so brown,
Left without a scalp to its crown.
It was on the terrible Earthquake day
That the Deacon finished the one-hoss shay.
Now in building of chaises, I tell you what,
There is always somewhere a weakest spot——
In hub, tire, felloe, in spring or thill,
In panel, or crossbar, or floor, or sill,
In screw, bolt, thoroughbrace—lurking still,
Find it somewhere you must and will——
Above or below, or within or without——
And that's the reason, beyond a doubt,
That a chaise breaks down, but doesn't wear out.