"Have you two barns?" asked the minister.
"Yes, sah," replied the servant; "dar's de old barn, and Mas'r Wales has jest built a new one."
"Where do you usually put the horses of clergymen who come to see your master?"
"Well, sah, if dey's Methodist or Baptist we gen'ally puts 'em in de ole barn, but if dey's 'Piscopals we puts 'em in the new one."
"Well, Bob, you can put my horse in the new barn; I'm a Baptist, but my horse is an Episcopalian."
JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL
THE YANKEE RECRUIT
Mister Buckinum, the follerin Billet was writ hum by a Yung feller of our town that wuz cussed fool enuff to goe a-trottin inter Miss Chiff arter a Drum and fife. It ain't Nater for a feller to let on that he's sick o' any bizness that he went intu off his own free will and a Cord, but I rather cal'late he's middlin tired o' voluntearin By this time. I bleeve yu may put dependunts on his statemence. For I never heered nothin bad on him let Alone his havin what Parson Wilbur cals a pongshong for cocktales, and ses it wuz a soshiashun of idees sot him agoin arter the Crootin Sargient cos he wore a cocktale onto his hat.