"Where did you get that new eight-day clock?"
"We ain't got no new eight-day clock," was the reply.
"You ain't? What's that in the corner there?"
"Why, no, that's not an eight-day clock; that's the deceased. We stood him on end to make room for the mourners."
A young wife who lost her husband by death telegraphed the sad tidings to her father in these succinct words: "Dear John died this morning at ten. Loss fully covered by insurance."
THE ALARMED SKIPPER
"It was an Ancient Mariner"
Many a long, long year ago,
Nantucket skippers had a plan
Of finding out, though "lying low,"
How near New York their schooners ran.