Years after I saw the man daily, and he completed his twenty-one years’ service instead of being buried alive, as many a poor wretch has been.
Colonel Zebulon Pike was by way of being a consul representing the United States in South Africa and the most amusing liar I have ever had the good fortune to meet.
The embodiment of generosity, no yarn he ever spun could have injured a fly; that there never was a word of truth in them was an accepted axiom.
“Yes, sir,” as he invariably prefixed his remarks, “it was when I was commanding my regiment during the rebellion that Captain Crusoe reported to me he had captured a spy. ‘Bring him before me,’ I said sternly, and when the rascal appeared I pointed to the sun, saying: ‘Before yon luminary disappears behind yon hills you die’; and turning to Crusoe, I added: ‘Remove him, Colonel Crusoe.’ ‘Colonel, sir?’ inquired he. ‘Yes, sir,’ said I, ‘you’re colonel from this very moment.’”
The Colonel once expressed a desire to attend the Governor’s levée; but bewailing the fact that he had not brought his uniform, he proceeded to describe it.
“The pants, sir, are a rich blue, with a broad lace stripe down their sides; my tunic is also blue, and my breast is covered with medals—I have a drawerful of them. Around my waist, sir, is a crimson sash, and in my hat a long ostrich feather sweeps down to my shoulder.”
“But that’s all easily arranged, Colonel,” we explained, and on the eventful day we proceeded to truss him.
Never was a more imposing sight, and as the guard of honour marched down to Government House the Colonel stood on the pavement, immovable as a rock, with hand to his feathered billycock. And the men (as had been arranged) came to the “carry,” and passed him with all the “honours of war.”
“My God, sir, it brought tears to my eyes,” he afterwards told us in his pride, “to see yon fine fellows swinging past; it reminded me of my own regiment. I thank you, gentlemen, for the compliment you paid a comrade.”
These colonial levées of the past were often held of an evening to enable the introduction of refreshments, without which the attendance would certainly have been meagre.