I believe it was having children too fast that weakened my inside and brought on miscarriages.
When I heard Mrs. H. say at our Conference she always had £5 provided for confinement, I felt that she had indeed been a lucky woman. I have never yet been in that position, and it is because a woman has not enough money to pay for things being done for her until she is strong enough to do them for herself, that causes so much suffering.
My husband’s wages was 30s. a week when he made a full week, but unfortunately his trade was very uncertain. In ten years we had moved four different times—twice to A, back again to B, and then to C which accounts a great deal for us being short, as we had to pay our own expenses each time, and of course you will understand what it means to a mother when she is left behind. The husband must be found his board-money and pocket-money, even if she goes short of necessaries.
Wages 30s.; five children, five miscarriages.
Facsimile of Extract from Letter 36.
37. Against Large Families.
May I say, first of all, that lack of knowledge means, in nearly every case, much unnecessary suffering. I was married at twenty-one, and have had three children—two boys and one girl. Eldest thirty in May, youngest twenty-five. No miscarriages. I might say that I was very ignorant when I was married; my mother did not consider it at all proper to talk about such things. There is too much mock modesty in the world and too little time given to the things that matter. Knowing how ignorant I was on matters of motherhood, my husband bought a book for me called “Advice to a Wife,” by Dr. Henry Pye Chavasse. It is a beautifully written book and would be a gift of untold value to any girl about to marry. There is also a sequel entitled “Advice to a Mother”—it has saved me pounds of expense—price 2s. 6d., by the same author. Yet, on the other hand, with all this knowledge, I had a very dreadful time with my first child—in fact, I nearly lost my life and reason too, and have never really enjoyed good health since. I was fully six months before I could look after my baby. This was one of my greatest disappointments. I was obliged to put my little one out to nurse, although I had an ample supply of milk. My second and third confinements were very bad, but I was able to get about at the end of the month. It is always a mystery how some poor mothers get about so soon, but of course some women are much stronger than others. Here let me add that through getting about too soon a great deal of suffering is stored up for later years. My old doctor once said to me that if women would only realise that a certain amount of rest was absolutely necessary after confinement, it would add several years to their life. I cannot speak too strongly about the evils of miscarriages. One miscarriage brought about unlawfully ruins a woman’s constitution more than half a dozen children. I have suffered from varicose veins since my first child was born, and during pregnancy.
My husband’s wages during child-bearing period have been never more than 24s.; being a piece-worker, has been as low as 9s. The wages I received when my last child was born (the same week, I mean) were 11s. I was glad to avail myself of a free doctor from the hospital. I may say I had a black doctor, and was never better attended in my life. I do not believe in large families. It does not give either the mother or the children a chance. Here again, I think, much education is needed. Fathers ought to control their bodies for the sake of the mother and child. I could quote several instances where a mother’s life has become intolerable through the husband’s lack of control. I do trust that the new Maternity Scheme will soon be a fact. I feel that, when put into working order, thousands of poor mothers will be saved unnecessary suffering.