I will give you the following concerning my married life. First let me tell you I was in the place I was married from just five years as children’s maid. I was twenty-five, my husband twenty-six the day we married. Many, including my relatives, thought I ought to have married better. I had been engaged previously, but he turned out to be not the God-fearing man I thought. Then our married gardener asked me to tea, and I met my husband that is now, a true follower of Christ. And I must tell you, the two years we courted we only missed Church twice. I soon saw he had won my heart, but his wages was then poor, but I remembered my dear mother’s words—money does not bring happiness; and so we were married against the wishes of my friends, and took two rooms and furnished them. But, oh! I soon found out how hard it was to keep our little home on 24s. a week, 7s. for our two rooms. Then I got a night now and again waiting at table with the lady I had lived with and her friends. How I pleaded to be kept all right, as I could not see our way clear to have a baby in the home, and I would not, could not, let any of our friends know the hard struggle I had. I have a dear, loving husband, who agreed we would like a baby, but had no means of providing for it. I must tell you I had bad health (bloodlessness) before I was married, which cost me a lot of money. Then when we had been married two years I found I was in a certain condition. I hid my condition, and went still waiting at table, until after a big dinner I fainted, and had to own I was so. Then came the shortage of money. I began to stint myself in order to provide for my little one. Many a time I have had bread and dripping for my dinner before my husband came home, and said I had my dinner, as I would not wait. Then I was ill, and had to have the doctor. He said I was run down, and away went some of the little store I had been able to get together. I would not let my friends know how we stood, remembering what they said before I was married. Then came headache after headache, as I worried to know wherever was all the money to come from to provide the funds for doctor and nurse. My sister, who was very proud, and unmarried, engaged me a nurse at 14s. a week for three weeks. She thought she was helping me by seeing that I had a good nurse, but this only added to my worry. Then my husband, thinking to help me get the money, had a knitting machine on the hire system, and made socks and stockings. I had to sew up the toes and press them into shape. I could not get them right for a long time, and this added another worry, as we had to pay each month for the machine, which was a failure. I worked hard at them right up to the time my boy was born. Oh, my poor head, how it ached, as I tried and tried to do them right; and we only got 2d. a pair for making them, and my husband used to walk to the city to the shop with them. (They found the wool.) I had a very bad confinement, and the baby was almost gone when it came into the world. I had no strength to go through. The doctor would not allow me to see anyone for nine days. This was twelve years ago. My boy, although fat, suffers so much with his head. He had a brain and nerve breakdown two years ago, and was ill eleven months. One day the doctor said: “How were you when you carried this child?” Painful though it was, I told him all. “Ah,” he said, “now we know the cause of all this trouble.” I have suffered with my head ever since. His heart also is slightly affected. If only I could have gone to someone who would have understood, not my relatives, and got some nourishment. All this that he now suffers, I am sure, is the result of my having to work and worry so much while I was carrying. I might say the nurse was very extravagant, and the second week I lay so ill I missed a photo machine my husband had, and learnt—oh, it is almost too painful to write—that he had pawned it for 7s. 6d. to help get me nourishment. He said: “Never again will you go through this. You are too dear to me.” Well, six years ago, my boy being six years old, my husband had got on, and his wages increased. We had a little girl, which we had always longed for, only to lose it as soon as it came into the world, for I have no strength in my inside (the doctor said) to bring a child into the world. All this weakness, you see, the result of the first confinement. Of course, now, the doctor says it would not be safe for me to have another child. I have a dear loving husband who does all in his power to keep me right. But it is hard to think if I had another it would go or be delicate. Now is there not great need for a place where a young mother could go and get advice and, if necessary, nourishment? I was one who thought I could do a lot on a little a week, and when I found out my mistake would do anything rather than let my friends know their words had come true. I remember when carrying my baby to have to wait for a loaf of bread until my husband came home at five with his money, as I always paid down for all we had. I must tell you we have been married fifteen years and are very, very happy.
Wages 24s.; one child, one still-birth.
121. Natural Times.
During these times I have been well looked after, and had quite natural times.
Wages 23s. to 45s.; three children.
122. Ironing and Kneading in Bed.
I was married one year and five months before my first boy was born. I nearly lost my life. I was in labour from 1 o’clock in the morning until 7.5 at night. Then the doctor used instruments. He stated I had worked too hard, and not rested sufficiently, but I could not afford a girl. My husband then was only getting £1 1s. per week, and 5s. rent had to be paid out of it. The second baby came fifteen months after.... I had no milk for either. I was in labour with the second from Monday dinner-time until Tuesday night. Then the doctor gave me an injection of warm water; as I was torn so badly before, he did not want to use the instruments. Two years after I had a miscarriage.... I then had to lie in bed for a whole month. I kept a small girl, and I used to do my own ironing and knead my bread in bed unknown to the doctor. I had a bed put down in the small parlour to save the girl and children running upstairs. I feel sure that if I had had a maternity benefit then to help me, I should not be suffering now inwardly. No mother can stay in bed very comfortably knowing things are going on anyhow while she is in bed. Then, again, during the time she is carrying the child, her mind is troubled, and she becomes fretful, hence a fretful, delicate child. The mother, when funds are low, goes without much food, pleading headache, etc., so as to try and blind her husband. I think an expectant mother should rest at least half an hour every day, and especially towards the last should have no heavy work to do, such as washing and ironing. The extra weight she is carrying naturally throws the humours into her legs, the veins standing out like thick cords, and at night she cannot sleep for cramps and aches. The child is the asset of the nation, and the mother the backbone. Therefore, I think the nation should help to feed and keep that mother, and so help to strengthen the nation by her giving birth to strong boys and girls. She does not require weaklings, and insufficient food and overwork and worry is the root of this weakness, both in the case of mother and child. I only hope that sick visitors should see that it is the mothers that are getting the benefit of the maternity benefit, and not the husband, and often the landlord.
Wages 20s. to 23s.; two children.
123. Tea and Sugar put away.
My experience of child-bearing has been very painful, owing to an inward growth. Each confinement was a very critical time—in fact, with the last one I nearly lost my life, and was told by my doctor never to run the risk again. Fortunately for us all, I have a thoughtful husband, or, of course, it would have made the home very unhappy. During the time of pregnancy I used to put a little away every week, perhaps one week tea, another sugar, and so on, as my husband’s wages were small, and I could not go out to work, not being strong. I am sure the 30s. the mothers get now would have been a great boon in my case. It would have saved a lot of worry as to ways and means. No one knows what it means to a mother at such times, what contrivances she has to make things eke out. I think myself half the suffering in after-life is brought about by worrying to make ends meet at such times. In my own case, how much I have to be thankful for with a good, steady husband! I honestly think no woman should have less than £1 per week for housekeeping purposes, and how many thousands have far less! I should like to see all workers receiving a living wage, as then I think most of the trouble would be met.