I was blessed with a good mother, who gave me good advice on the necessity of taking care of myself during this period, and having also the best of attention at confinement, and plenty of rest and good food, neither of these being lacking. I can only imagine a woman’s feelings under different conditions.
My confinements (five) were, however, hard, bad times, brought about by some obstruction. This I have always put down to the fact that at the age of thirteen I began to learn dressmaking, which entailed sitting long hours at a stretch, at a time when the bones were in rather a soft state. A midwife whom I had engaged as nurse during my last confinement quite agreed that this was most likely. I could not say whether this is common among dressmakers or not.
After confinement always seemed to me to be one’s weak time, and especially with nursing mothers with fine, healthy babies. I nursed four, the last being still-born, and always found that about three months after their birth my strength failed, and doctor’s advice had to be sought, when with tonics he managed to bring me right.
You see my experience will not be of much use to you, but this is exactly how I have felt during these times; in fact, during pregnancy it was much harder for me to be still than to work hard physical work.
Wages just under £2; four children, one still-born.
160. “Eight to Keep on Eleven Shillings and Threepence.”
In the first place, being short of money is one cause of suffering. I am the mother of five children, three girls and two boys. I have not had a doctor to any of my confinements, but nearly lost my life and child’s through the first one. The midwife was a qualified woman, but addicted to drink (which I found out afterwards). I was confined on a Thursday at 2.30 p.m., after many hours of suffering, and she never came near me again until late on Saturday night. Fancy me! Oh, the horror of it makes me shiver when I think about it. We were almost strangers where we were living. I had my mother staying with me, but the night before baby was born, she chopped the end of her finger right off, which made her feel very bad. She was in pain herself, and I was ignorant of the danger I was in, not being properly attended to. Mother was afraid of blood-poisoning. My husband was working nights at the time. We, like many more, had not got a very good start. He fell out of work about two months after we were married, and was out for a long time. I had to go to my home and he his, for from the first months of pregnancy I suffered greatly. When he started and worked again, I had to part with my machine (which I had paid for before I was married) to pay for rent; it was hard lines. Then he got work back, so we had to move back again—another expense. So you will see we had our trouble when baby was born. I had hardly got enough of anything, let alone doctor’s money. I paid the nurse 7s. 6d. I had only been confined barely three weeks when my husband was out of work again. The first Saturday night I went out shopping after baby was born, I had 1s. 7½d. to get meat, grocery, and all else to live on till some kind friend came along, which was my mother, her home being near. She brought me a little rent, and a few shillings to carry us on for a week or two. I was afraid to spend any till my husband got work, which was after many tramps from place to place. I managed to get some work to do, but caught a cold and chill, which caused me to have a gathered breast, which nearly killed me. I did not know my own for days. They took me over from —— to ——, and thought I should die on the way there. My father soon had a doctor to see me. He told them it would be a struggle to pull me through, but after a time I gained strength to go back to ——, and as my husband had got work again, he needed me at home. Then after a year and ten months, my baby girl was born. I should tell you I was twenty-eight years old when I was married, and I had been married eleven months when my first baby was born, and I can truthfully say I was ignorant of anything concerning married life or motherhood when I was married. In fact, when the midwife came to me when I was in such pain, I had not the slightest idea where or how the child would come into the world. And another thing, I was not even told what to expect when I was leaving girlhood—I mean the monthly courses. I often wonder I got along as well as I have. I will say here that I do not intend my daughters to be so innocent of natural courses. I feel it is unkind of parents to leave girls to find these things out. It causes unnecessary suffering. I often wonder, when I hear some of our women grumbling about the trouble and bother of signing and getting the papers filled in for the 30s., how they would have been in my place, and how thankful I should have been for it.
When my girlie was eighteen months, I had a baby boy. I did think I had a handful; they seemed three babies. A friend of mine had the little girl till I got up again, which was generally ten days. Oh, what rest is there for a woman when money is so scarce? They say, “Don’t worry.” Well, what can you do? Well, I got over No. 3 fairly well, as I had a young woman to look after me for one week. I forgot to tell you, the day after No. 2 was born, my husband was sent away to work, so I did not see him again till she was ten days old, and I had to borrow money to get along with till he did come back. When No. 4 was born, I had a trying time. Six weeks before she was born, my three children were down with scarlet fever; two had it very badly, but the one only very slightly; they came downstairs on the Sunday for the first time. Then my baby was born the following Tuesday. The children were not allowed to see me, but the father had to look after them a good deal, as I had his young sister to look after me. I got up on the tenth day, and then my husband had the fever. We were both ill in bed together. Then I had another gathered breast. The doctor lanced it, and it ran for fourteen weeks after. Then I had a whitlow on my right thumb. During the time my husband was ill, my young sister, though she was married, came to help to look after us all. I only had 11s. 3d. a week to keep eight of us on; can you wonder a woman’s strength gives way? I must also say my husband was not in a doctor’s club, so we had a bill to pay for him. I and the children are in a friendly sisters’ club, but the doctor does not attend confinements; that is a separate item. So you see I have known a bit of trouble. When No. 5 was born my oldest girl and boy had to look after me. The other two were sent away, one to ——, the other to ——. I had 26s. a week to keep and clothe, pay rent, fire and light, and clubs for seven of us, till my oldest started work.
I think if I had been able to have a doctor at the first I might not have suffered as I have, and do at present, as I had occasion to be examined once, and my doctor told me I had been neglected at my confinement. Oh, I do feel sometimes, if I could only tell some of the young girls things they ought to know, how much better some might be; but we have got such a class to deal with. The young girls who have babies, they only laugh at us if we say anything. I do feel one cannot be too careful about one’s thoughts and actions during pregnancy; therefore, if one has not enough to live on, and get necessary life comforts, it naturally tells on the child and mother’s life, as child-bearing is such a strain, especially when they come so close to one another. What can a woman do but worry, when she knows there is so little to live on. I hope you do not think ill of my husband through me complaining. He has given me all the money he earned, and I have done my best—at least, I think so. I have had to fare hard and work hard; I don’t know what the reward will be. —— is not like a town. There is nothing here but the pits for the boys, and the girls have to go away from home to earn a living.