"Yes."
"Und ven I go in de bedt at night, somepody rings der pell like der house vas on fire; und ven I shumps oudt, und says, 'Hello!' I hear somepody saying, 'Kaiser, doan't you vhant to puy a dog?' I vants no dog; und ven I tells 'em so, I hear some peoples laughing, 'Haw! haw! haw!' You see?"
"Yes."
"Vell, you dake it oudt, dat ish all vhat it ish; und ven somepody likes to shpeak mit me dey shall coom right avay by mine saloon. Oof mine brudder ish sick, he shall got petter. Und oof somepody vhants to puy a dog, apout two glock de morning, let him yust coom vere I can tole him somedings, dat ish all."
THE UNITED ORDER OF HALF-SHELLS.
"My vhife all der time says to me, 'Carl Dunder, if you vhas to be kilt by a butcher-cart or ice-wagon, or if some shteamboat plow you oop on de river, I left mit no money. Vhy doan' you pe insured mit your life?'
"Vhell, I tinks about dot a good deal. It vhas my duty dot my vhife und Katie doan' go mit der poorhouse if I can help it, und I tink it vhas pest to get some insurance. I shpeak to my frendt, Shon Plazes, vhas about it, und Shon he says,—
"'Of course you vhant insurance. You come into my lodge of der United Order of Half-shells. Dot vhas an order which only cost one dollar a year, und if you die your family puts on shtyle mit der ten thousand dollar in greenpacks. I calls a meeting right avhay mit your saloon, und we put you through like some streaks of greased lightning.'
"Vhell, I goes home and tells der old vhomans, und she says dot vhas O. K. She doan's like to see me die; but if some shmall-pox or yellow-fever comes to Detroit, und takes me avay, she likes to haf a long funeral procession, und build me a grave-stone vhich reads dot Carl Dunder vhas a goot husband, a kind fadder, und dot he vhas gone to heaven only a leedle vhile before he vhas ready. I shpeak to my daughter Katie, und she sheds some tears und dells me dot she looks as cute as an angel in some mourning gloze for me. So it vhas all right, und I sweep out my saloon, und about twenty men come in dot eafnings to make me a Half-shell.