"'Mind, Fritz, I dells you dere ish somedings pad ish happen. De dog ish howlin.'
"Vell, I goes to pet, und I shleeps: und all night long, ven I vakes up, dere vas dat dog howl outside; und ven I dream, I hear dat howlin' vorser ash nefer. Und in de mornin' I kits oop und kits mine freestick (breakfast),—und mine frau she look at me, und say fery solemn;
"'Fritz, dere ish somedings ish happen. De dog vas howl all night.'
"Und shoost den de newspaper comes in, and I opens him; und, by shings! vot you dinks? Dere vas a man died in Philadelphia!"
A DUTCHMAN'S ANSWER.
Bill Jones was going to get married a day or two ago, and he forgot whar de minister libed; so he started to find him out, so as to hab him come to de house an' perform de marriage ceremony. So, arter getting along down de road for two or free miles, he became fearful ob gettin' on de wrong track. So he says to a big Dutchman "I say, can you tell me where Mr. Swackelhammer, de preacher, lives?" and de Dutchman said, "Yaw. You just valk de road up to de creek, an' down de pritch over up shtreme, den you just go on till you cum to a road what vinds de woots around a schoolhouse; but you don't take dat road. Vell, den you go on till you meet a pig-pen shingled mit straw, den you durn de road round de field, and go on till you come to pig red house. Den you turn dat house around de barn, and see a road dat goes up in de woots. Den you don't take dat road too. Den you go straight on, and de fust house you meet is a hay-stack, and de next is a barrack. Vell, he don't live dere. Den you will get a little furder, and you see a house on top de hill, about a mile; and you go in dere an' ax de old voman, an' she will tell you bedder as I can."