"Dot's all I vhant. Who stole my dog ven my house vhas on fire? Dot dog ish gone, und he vhas ten tollar wort."
"We didn't insure the dog."
"Und maybe you don't insure dem poys who set on der fence und called out, 'Dot ole Dutchman's red nose has set his house on fire!' Do you oxpect I take such sass like dot for two tollar? Und vhen the firemens come here dey break mein clothes-line down mit der ladders, und dey spill wasser all oafer my carpets. Two tollar! Vhell, vhell! you go right avhay from here, und I takes dot old insurance bolicy und steps him into der mud!"
A FRENCHMAN ON MACBETH.
An enthusiastic French student of Shakspeare thus comments on the tragedy of Macbeth:—
"Ah! your Mossieu' Shak-es-pier! He is gr-r-aand—mysterieuse—sooblime! You 'ave reads ze Macabess—ze scene of Mossieu' Macabess vis ze Vitch—eh? Superb sublimitee! W'en he say to ze Vitch, 'Ar-r-roynt ye, Vitch!' she go away; but what she say when she go away? She say she will do s'omesing dat aves got no naame! Ah, ha! she say, 'I go, like ze r-r-aa-t vizout ze tail, but I'll do! I'll do!' W'at she do? Ah, haviola le graand, mysterieuse Mossieu' Shak-es-pier! She not say what she do!"
This was "grand," to be sure; but the prowess of Macbeth, in his "bout" with Macduff, awakens all the mercurial Frenchman's martial ardor:—
"Mossieu' Macabess, he see him come, clos' by: he say (proud empressement), 'Come-o-o-n, Mossieu' Macduffs, and d——d be he who first say enuffs!' Zen zey fi-i-ght-moche. Ah, ha! voila! Mossieu' Macabess, vis his br-r-ight r-r-apier, 'pink' him, vat you call, in his body. He 'ave gots mal d'estomac: he say, vis grand simplicite, 'Enoffs!' What for he say 'Enoffs'? 'Cause he got enoffs—plaanty: and he expire r-right away, mediately, pretty quick! Ah, mes amis, Mossieu' Shak-es-pier is rising man in La Belle France!"
Anonymous.