But while these were the apparent occupations of Captain Brenton, while he was thus busily employed in relieving the distresses and promoting the welfare of all around him, there was much passing within his own mind of which the world knew nothing; and his labours for the good of others were secretly promoting his own. Light broke in on his own mind, while he was endeavouring to enlighten others. His work and labour of love were made the means of awakening his mind to truths which had hitherto been partially considered and imperfectly felt; and these benevolent employments which withdrew him from the ordinary dissipations of the world led him to meditate more deeply and seriously on the real interests of man, on his own state before God, and his future final prospects.
“At this time,” his private journal says, “I began to reflect seriously upon my religious opinions. I had indeed long been in the habit of attending to the form of religion, particularly from the period of my having served under that exemplary character, Sir James Saumarez. It had been habitual to me on the approach of danger or battle, to offer up a mental prayer for support; but upon a more deliberate examination I came to the conclusion, that christianity made no part of my religion; that it was almost entirely confined to the first sentence in the Prayer book, ‘When the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness,’ &c. I had always felt some indefinite purpose of doing this, and of amending my life; but then it was only done in trying myself by the letter of the commandment; and when there was not a decided breach of duty, I felt perfectly satisfied. With regard to the New Testament, it hardly appeared to me as of any importance; it was seldom read, and less meditated upon. I was scrupulous in performing a certain round of duties, in the cold and heartless manner which may be supposed; but they were all tasks performed in fear, and none in love. The only light which seemed to break through the thick mist of utter darkness, arose from occasional glimpses of the working of Divine Providence. I had very long been in the habit of attributing my successes, and my preservation from danger, to Omnipotence, and not to second causes; but this is the utmost amount of religious feeling to which at that period I could lay any claim. The same merciful and long-suffering Being, who had spared and prospered me, still continued his divine and wonderful forbearance; and I may have been made, even under these appalling circumstances of ignorance and error, an instrument in keeping up among those around me, some faint recollection of spiritual things, so far at least as shewing the worship of God to be a duty, if it were lost sight of as a privilege.”
It may be profitable that the reader’s attention should be drawn to these expressions; and that he should trace the progress of light in the mind of the subject of this memoir, by considering the way in which he here viewed and judged himself. That the journal contains a simple artless narrative of his own experience, must be evident to every one who reads it. It was designed for the perusal of those who knew him best, to whom his heart was always open with all its workings, and who were in consequence capable of interpreting its language, and understanding its meaning; and that the writer could have wished to impose on them a notion which did not exist in his own mind, or in any degree to disguise or exaggerate his own feelings, is impossible to be believed. Still we must be surprised at hearing the language which he uses concerning his own state, and in particular the description here given of his religious feelings. At the period spoken of, he was not only a moral character, but an exemplary man. The world had not only known him as a distinguished officer, but had seen him discharging accurately and fully all the relative duties of society, as a son, as a brother, as a husband, as a friend. In the circle at Verdun, the humanity and kindness which he had exhibited towards the poorer prisoners, and the exertions and self-denial he was submitting to in their service, had probably caused him to be considered as a model of benevolence and charity; while the regularity with which he attended to his religious duties, and the efforts which he made for the moral improvement of the people, led them to regard him as a man of piety.
We cannot be surprised at this having been the conclusion which was drawn by others from what was seen; but we may with reason be surprised at the confession which we read, and at the acknowledgment thus recorded, by the object of the world’s admiration, that he was at the moment so far from what they thought him. Some allowance must be made for the humility with which a man, once awakened to the real state of his heart, will speak of his own attainments; some further allowance must be made for the circumstances of dejection under which he first drew up this memorial; but it still may be expedient to state the causes which may have occasioned this remarkable difference between the apparent character, and that which he considered to be the truth, and which raised him in appearance, so high above that which he knew and felt to be his real condition. Those who had the advantage of knowing Sir Jahleel Brenton personally, can bear witness to what may be stated of the singular amenity of his character. His natural affections were so strong, his tastes so refined, his manners so gentle, his kindness so consistent; that much of what the world calls goodness, seemed to grow up in him spontaneously, and cost him nothing. He was amiable without an effort, benevolent without reflection; and habitually thinking more of others than himself, he exhibited from his earliest years much of that love which is the fulfilling of the law, as a rule of life, without feeling that love which supersedes the law as a ground of hope. The active habits of his profession, a high sense of the character that he was to maintain as a British officer, and that thirst for glory, but too justly described as the last infirmity of noble minds; conspired to give vigour and animation to his moral feelings, and to raise him above all that was base or degrading. To these high toned principles of action, his early and persevering attachment added delicacy and tenderness of sentiment; and it is not impossible to trace the effect which these united and combined circumstances must have had, in producing as fine a substitute for that, which in reality is the work of grace on the heart, as can well be conceived. Under the influence of these impressions he was in the fullest sense what the world thought him. He was excellent in all social relations; he was brave, kind, generous, and forgiving; but he was not what he had flattered himself with being, a real Christian. Acquaintance with himself, the result of leisure, meditation, trial, all used by the Holy Spirit, and employed for the purpose of awakening his conscience, and enlightening his mind, enabled him to see the source from which these qualities proceeded, and thus to understand their real nature. He then saw, that through life he had been striving to obtain the favour of man rather than that of God. He saw that the love of men, and the praise of men had been desired, and not the praise of God. He felt that he had been touched by the love which his fellow creatures bore to him, while strange to say, he had been indifferent to the love which he believed that his Redeemer had evinced towards him. He saw that his own glory, not the glory of God had been the object of his ambition; and that though his life had been led in a very different way from that in which it was spent by others, it had not been lived to God as in duty it ought to have been. He thus learnt, that that which was highly esteemed among men, might be an abomination to God; and the twilight of his former state seemed nothing less than darkness, when compared with the brightness of the truth which burst on his mind as revealed in the Gospel. Those qualities which had won him the affections of his family and his friends, that warm and disinterested benevolence which had made him the instrument of mercy to so many in distress, were considered in a very different way, when their principles were analysed, and their real nature ascertained; and he no doubt was astonished at finding how far it was possible to go in what seemed to be the ways of God, without having really known the motives by which he was actuated. Other men less happily constituted, would have been in less danger of self deception. The evil that was in them, lay nearer to the surface, and would have germinated and shewn itself sooner. His danger arose from that which seemed to be his security; and the man whom all the world was agreeing to admire and to love, was likely to be lost, because nothing occurred to awaken his anxiety, or to lead him to suspect himself.
Adverting to the time that the British seamen remained at Epinal, during the first months of their captivity, from August to the commencement of December, Captain Brenton says, “Their conduct in general was such as to procure them the respect of the inhabitants. Some of them remarked to me, that their town had in the previous war, been made a general depôt for prisoners; that they had had Austrians, Poles, Russians, and in short men of all nations in Europe confined there; and that the consequence was, that the whole district was infested by beggars; but that although the British seamen were evidently worse off than any who had preceded them, there was no instance of any of them being seen begging. Another circumstance very creditable to the British sailor was, that the inhabitants of Epinal were anxious to get the prisoners to do labouring work for them; but none accepted this employment without my permission. I gladly consented to their having such advantage, under one only restriction, the necessity of which was obvious; that they should not engage in any of the public works usually performed by French soldiers; lest having taken the place of these men, the soldiers might be sent to the army. To these conditions they invariably adhered, in spite of threats and coercion.”
On the establishment of the depôt at Sarrelibre, Captain Brenton says, “I applied for permission to visit the prisoners who were confined there, but my request was refused. An evident feeling of jealousy began at this time to manifest itself, with regard to the influence the British officers exercised over their countrymen; and all communication was forbidden between them. In the course of the autumn I obtained permission to reside at Etain, a little village about twelve miles from Verdun. General Abercrombie was my companion, he was the son of Sir Ralph, and had been arrested at Calais, just as he was stepping into the packet for England, previous to the commencement of the war. We were enjoying with great relish this little change in our captivity, when a detenu of rank thought proper to make his escape; and having succeeded, he wrote to the French government, defending his conduct; and adding that no detenu considered his promise to be binding. In consequence of this conduct all the prisoners were instantly recalled to Verdun. The gates were shut, and all passports taken away; nor could the prisoners under such circumstances justly complain of the severity exercised towards them. The officers taken in active service again remonstrated, but for a time without effect. The measures of restraint however were soon again relaxed, and they returned to their former state.”
Relative to this period the journal supplies the following entry, as made from a paper left by Mrs. Brenton. July 3rd, 1804, she writes, “Grant O most merciful God, that my beloved husband may this day be reflecting with gratitude on his escape from the perils of this day year, and returning humble thanks to Thee for his preservation. Continue to protect him, O heavenly Father, and if it be according to Thy all wise decree, grant that he may soon return in health and safety.” To this simple and touching prayer the husband has subjoined, “I earnestly hope that I did fulfil your beloved mother’s most pious wishes in offering up on that day, my grateful recollection and praises to the Almighty, for the protection He had been pleased to vouchsafe me on the day of my capture.” I have for many years endeavoured to retain the impression upon my mind, by making it a part of my daily prayer: “O Almighty God, father of all mercies,” he adds, “from my earliest infancy Thou hast blessed and protected me. Thou didst bless my dearest parents, and make us their children, the instruments of their welfare. O Lord, in the hour of danger, and in the day of battle, on the bed of sickness, how constantly Thou hast protected me. O merciful Creator, Thou hast preserved unto me for a series of years, the greatest of earthly blessings, a virtuous and affectionate wife. Thou hast supported her in the hour of trial, Thou hast enabled her to bear her afflictions. Thou hast softened the miseries of my captivity, by the protection of my wife and child.” “Although (he continues) we had not at this time been united much more than two years, I considered that my wife had been preserved unto me, from the earliest period of my fixing my affections upon her, more than thirteen years previous to our marriage.” On Sunday, 29th July, 1804, Mrs. Brenton writes again; “I have had the pleasure of conversing with Mr. Forbes and his family about my invaluable husband, and listened with delight to the praises bestowed upon him. Continue to preserve him, O merciful God, if it be according to Thy divine will, and Thy all wise decrees. Grant that he may soon return in health and safety: this I beg through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Captain Brenton remarks, “Mr. Forbes had been detained as a prisoner in France, with many more of his countrymen, whilst on his travels; but he was liberated at the instance of Sir Joseph Bankes, to whom he was known. Buonaparte wishing to be considered the friend and patron of literary men, and this gentleman being known to have collected materials for a very considerable work upon India, which has since been published, he was glad to take the opportunity of evincing his respect for science by granting to Sir Joseph Bankes, and in favour of a man of letters, what he would have yielded to no other application.
“Mr. Forbes was a worthy pious man, who took much delight in relieving the sufferings of his poor countrymen, who were in captivity with him. Upon his liberation, we formed the most sanguine hopes that our own would speedily follow. He shewed great kindness in charging himself with letters and presents for our dear friends in England: and promised to deliver them in person; a promise which he most punctually performed. It was indeed a great source of comfort to both of us, that this opportunity of corresponding was granted. Under any other circumstances, I should be guilty of unpardonable vanity, in transcribing the observations contained in the memoranda of this day; but, you my beloved children will read them, as coming warm from the heart of your angelic mother; dictated by that ardent affection, which was, if possible, increasing in both of us, during the whole of our union.” “A considerable period,” he adds, “elapses from this time, in which I can find no journal. It may have been lost, as in many other instances; or probably was not written, from the state of suspense in which we were constantly kept on both sides respecting an exchange. Alternate hopes and fears were excited by the rumours of the day. I had carried on a correspondence upon the subject, with the Minister of Marine, M. Decrés, who expressed in his letter a wish for the establishment of a cartel, which seemed to be retarded, more from punctilio than from any real obstacle. Buonaparte himself appeared by this time to have considered the measure of making hostages of the travellers, in a much less advantageous light than it had presented itself to his mind at first.