If you will not when you may,
When you will you shall have nay.
Therefore take my advice, and that is, if a young man comes unto you which is of a civil carriage, and of a good honest parentage, and thou think that thou canst love him, then thou must not be scornful with him, but give him civil entertainment, according to his behaviour; but of all conditions be sure to hold thy legs together, till thou have authority to lay them wide open.
And as for young men, my advice is to them to be wary in their choice, for there is as much danger in chusing a wife as can be in young women chusing husbands, for there is deceit in both; therefore, I advise all young men to look before they leap, and in so doing they may prevent danger in time, therefore young men take a little of my advice in your choice; if thou can chuse take not one that hath a long nose with a scowling brow, and thin lips, for in such is great danger, for such commodity proves to have a long tongue, and that often proves the worst weapon a woman has, for I am sure he that is ty’d to a scold, is ty’d to a world of sorrow; also chuse not one that is counted a slut, for if she be a slut to be sure she is idle withall, and those two conditions will bring thee to poverty; nay besides, the old saying is, A slut will poison thy gut, and if thou disdain to eat with her, thou wilt think much to lie with her, if thou forsake her bed thou must have one somewhere, but where judge thou thyself. Yet now I will let you understand my best advice for young men to chuse them wives: in the first place be sure thou take one for love, not altogether for riches, for riches has wings and flyeth away; but true love will never decay; for where love is there is the blessing of God, and where the blessing of God is there can be no want, but if thy desire be to have a wife to live a loving contented life withall, then thou must not set thy mind too much on riches, but chuse a good handsome civil maid, which is not given to pride, nor scornful in carriage and of uncivil parentage; such a maid may make a good wife; but one that has a great portion will look to be maintained proudly, nay besides she instead of rubbing thy shins in bed will be sure to rub thy nose oft with her great portion, which will breed a great deal of dissension, for ill words corrupt good manners, and one evil word brings in another, so let this suffice you have a desire to have good wives: and take notice of what I have already said, and you may come to speed the better.
And as for young maids, this is my advice, if they will not try St. Agnes fortune then let them be sure to chuse a handsome young man that is lusty and able to do his work; for if she be fain to seek for another to do that work which he should do it may breed great dissension.
And thus endeth Mother Bunch’s advice to all young men and maids, wishing good luck and good fortune to them all. And now (rather than you should think you have not enough for your money) the author has added two merry songs:
Tune of “Cuddle my Cuddle.”
You young men and batchelors all,
Take notice of what I shall say;
The strongest man may catch a fall