To cure smoky chimneys.—Discontinue fires.
To get rid of ghosts.—Use disinfecting fluid copiously.
To expel dry-rot.—Soak the places affected with the finest dry sherry.
To get the servants up early in the morning.—Send them to bed early at night.
To revive the fire.—Tie up the front-door knocker in a white kid glove.
To prevent the beer going too fast.—Possess the key to the mystery.
To avoid draughts.—Don't take any.
To destroy moths.—Collect butterflies.
How to keep plate clean.-Wrap it up in silver paper.
How to dispose of old newspapers.—Put them into the brown study.