For the Cook who has lived longest in one place without including whole candles under the general head of kitchen-stuff
One pound
For the Nurse who has walked oftenest in the Park without speaking to a Horse-guard
Ten shillings
For the Housemaid who has remained longest in a situation in which the cat has not been in the habit of doing wilful damage to the crockery
Five shillings
Lady (engaging a maid). "Was your last mistress satisfied with you?"
Maid. "Well, mum, she said she was very pleased when I left!"
For the Cook who has been the greatest number of years in service without resigning her own heart and her mistress's cold meat to the devouring passion of a policeman
Fifteen shillings
For the Nurse who has remained the longest time in a place without mistaking the children's linen for her own, and given the baby the fewest private punches and pinches
Seven shillings
For the Female Servant who has set off on Sunday evenings to go to church, and found her way there oftenest
Five shillings
For the Page who has opened the smallest number of notes in the longest period of service
Half-a-Crown
For the Groom who has best carried out the principles of protection with regard to his master's corn
Ten shillings
For the Footman who has worn the fewest of his master's shirts
One shilling
The above are only a few preliminary prizes, but if the scheme can be effectually carried out, there is every intention to offer rewards for a variety of other qualities. In the present day, when servants are always "bettering" themselves, which means growing worse and worse, the project of a prize club for this troublesome class seems fraught with the most promising prospects.
Speeding the Staying Guest.—Hostess. "Won't you sing something, Mr. Borely?" Mr. B. "Yes, if you like. I'll sing one just before I go." Hostess. "Well, do sing now, and perhaps Miss Slowboy will accompany you."
Mistress. "Did Mrs. Brown say anything when you told her I was out?"
Maid. "Yes, 'm. Mrs. Brown, mum, said, 'Thank Heaven!' mum."