LADY HELPS
On this subject much nonsense has been written. They are quite as suitable (perhaps more so than otherwise) to the cottage as to the castle. The cottage need not have a name spelt with a Celtic series of dissonant consonants. A few hints may be advisable to the numerous "Lady Helps" at present in the market.
A Lady may efficiently help the mistress of the household to snub her husband, by adroitly echoing (and improving) the said mistress's remarks of a personal character.
A Lady may help the Cook to produce an original dinner, by suggesting fresh combinations, which will make the said Cook indignant, and even furious.
A Lady may help the Butler effectually, by decanting the '45 port, and shaking it a little first as you would Daffy's Elixir.
A Lady may help the visitors to the house by reading all the letters that may chance to be thrown aside, and taking advantage of any private intelligence they contain.
Mistress. "Oh, Gwendolen, whatever have you done!"
Gwendolen. "It's all right, m'm. I 'aven't 'urt myself!"