A Hint.—Young Housewife (as the front door bell rings). "Now, is that the butcher's boy—or a visitor?" New "General" (after a pause). "If you don't think you're tidy enough, mum—I'll go!"
When asked if you are fond of children, you should not be content with saying simply "yes," but you should indulge in a sort of involuntary, "Bless their little hearts!" which has the double advantage of appearing to mean everything, while it really pledges you to nothing. Never stick out for followers, if they are objected to; though you may ask permission for a cousin to come and see you; and as you do not say which cousin, provided only one comes at a time, you may have half-a-dozen to visit you. Besides, if the worst comes to the worst, and you cannot do any better, there is always the police to fall back upon. By-the-way, as the police cannot be in every kitchen at once, it might answer the purpose of the female servants throughout London, to establish police sweeps, on the principle of the Derby lotteries, or the Art-Union. Each subscriber might draw a number, and if the number happened to be that of the policeman on duty, she would be entitled to him as a beau, during a specified period.
Visitor. "I'm so glad to find you going on so nicely, Mrs. Jenkins! And is this the dear little soul? I would so love to see him!" Mrs. Jenkins. "Lor, no, mum! That's my 'usband taking his bit o' rest. He's a policeman on night duty." [Quick exit, with promise to look in again.
Always stipulate for beer-money, and propose it less for your own advantage than as a measure of economy to your mistress, urging that when there is beer in the house it is very likely to get wasted. You will, of course, have the milk in your eye, when proposing this arrangement.
Tea and sugar must not be much insisted on, for they are now seldom given, but this does not prevent them from being very frequently taken.
Having said thus much by way of preliminary advice, we commence our guides to service with
THE MAID-OF-ALL-WORK