Son of the House. "Won't you sing something, Miss Muriel?"
Miss M. "Oh, I daren't after such good music as we have been listening to."
Son of the House. "But I'd rather listen to your singing than to any amount of good music!"
TO REMOVE MARMALADE FROM VELVET.
Immerse in a lather of white soap in hot water, and, after rinsing and dabbing firmly for five minutes, apply benzoline with a nutmeg-grater. If the marmalade then refuses to go, send for the police.
HOW TO LIGHT A FIRE WITH CELLULOID COLLARS.
Heat the collar over a gas jet until it begins to crack, then apply a fusee and thrust the collar between the bars of the grate.
THE AMENDE HONOURABLE