Young man wants collecting."—Advt. in Provincial Paper.
"Enough is as good as a Feast."—Nervous Lady Cyclist. "I hope it isn't very deep here."
Ferryman. "Sax hunderd an' fefty-nine feet, Miss."
Old Farmer Jones (who has been to a local cattle-show, and seen a horseless carriage for the first time). "Mosher carsh may be all very well—(hic!)—but they can't find 'er way home by 'emshelves!"