He (with sigh of relief). “Well, do you know, I thought you weren’t!”
A Subtle Distinction.—Jones (who is of an inquiring mind). “Ain’t you getting tired of hearing people say, ‘That is the beautiful Miss Bellsize!’?”
Miss Bellsize (a professional beauty). “Oh, no. I’m getting tired of hearing people say, ‘Is that the beautiful Miss Bellsize?’”
Hostess (to guests, who have come to spend a few days). “We’re so glad you’ve been able to come, Mrs. Gushington; but I do hope we are going to have rather better weather, or I am afraid you won’t enjoy yourselves much.”—Mrs. Gushington. “Oh, but, my dear Lady Boreham, we didn’t come here to enjoy ourselves. We came to see you!”
Fubsby. “A—everybody’s getting too clever nowadays. I assure you, my chief object in society is to conceal my ignorance, and prevent people from finding out what an abject fool I really am!”