“Noblesse Oblige.”—Old Friend. “Hullo, Dick? How are you? I wish you’d come and dine with me to-night. But now you’re a lord, I suppose I mustn’t call you Dick any longer, or even ask you to dinner?”

Noble Earl (who has just come into his title). “Lord be blowed! Lend me a fiver, and you may call me what you like—and I’ll dine with you into the bargain!”


Little Dobbs (who is a good dancer, but has let his partner down with a crash). “That was my very first accident. Will you give me a dance?”

She (majestically). “Certainly, with pleasure. I never let a man down in my life!


He (who has failed to catch his companion’s name, and wishes to find it out indirectly). “By the way, how do you spell your name?”

She. “J-O-N-E-S.