DISTINGUISHED INVALIDS
(Latest Bulletins)
[“A person writing to the Daily Dispatch says the Marquess of Anglesey’s wonderful polyglot parrot is not ill, but on the contrary was laughing and chatting very heartily on Monday.”]
We are glad to be able to state that Lord Mount Sorrel’s favourite monkey, which has been suffering lately from phlebitis, is well on the way to recovery. No further bulletins will be issued.
The report that Lady Agatha Fitzhunter’s pet pony was confined to the stable with bronchitis is grossly exaggerated. The pony merely complained of being a little horse. The joke, of course, like its maker, was a chestnut.
Mrs. Martin Bradley’s French poodle is rapidly re-covering. It is admitted on all hands, however, that it was a remarkably close shave.
The alarming rumour that Lord Barndore’s famous owl (which had been suffering from insomnia lately) had committed suicide on Tuesday night, is happily contradicted this morning. It appears that the owl had merely left the house for a few hours for a special purpose-to wit, to woo!
Lord Raspberry’s prize turkey, which a short time ago had a painful operation performed on its neck, was able to appear at dinner last night and received a cordial welcome from those present.
The absurd tale that Lady Hopton Wood’s pretty little Manx cat was suffering from diseased liver has no foundation in fact. The liver was perfectly good, and similar to that usually supplied.