The Surly P. I do, ma'am, for, being in front, I haven't even the poor consolation of feeling that my umbrella is a nuisance to anybody.
A Sardonic P. (in the rear, politely). On the contrary, sir, I find it a most pleasing object to contemplate. Far more picturesque, I don't doubt, than any scenery it may happen to conceal.
A Chatty P. (to the driver; not because he cares, but simply for the sake of conversation). What fish do you catch in that river there?
The Driver (with an effort). There'll be troots, an', maybe, a pairrch or two.
The Chatty P. Perch? Ah, that's rather like a goldfish in shape, eh?
Driver (cautiously). Aye, it would be that.
Chatty P. Only considerably bigger, of course.
Driver (evasively). Pairrch is no a verra beg fesh.
Chatty P. But bigger than goldfish.