Impracticable.—Judge (to witness). “Repeat the prisoner’s statement to you, exactly in his own words. Now, what did he say?”
Witness. “My lord, he said he stole the pig——”
Judge. “Impossible! He couldn’t have used the third person.”
Witness. “My lord, there was no third person!”
Judge. “Nonsense! I suppose you mean that he said, ‘I stole the pig’!”
Witness (shocked). “Oh, my lord! he never mentioned your lordship’s name!”
[Dismissed ignominiously.
The British Juryman Preparing for the Worst.—Wife of his Bussum. “There, my love, I think with what you have had, and this box of concentrated luncheon, you may hold out against any of ’em!”