The Cleaner (showing tourists round the church). "Voilà le Maître-autel, m'sieu' et 'dame."
British Matron. "Oh, to be sure, yes. You remember, George, we had French beans, à la Maître Autel for dinner yesterday!"
BREAKING THE BANK AT MONTE CARLO
(A Note from One who has all but done it)
Dear Mr. Punch.—Now that so many of my countrymen (the word includes both sexes) patronise Monte Carlo, it is well that they should be provided with an infallible system. Some people think that a lucky pig charm or a piece of Newgate rope produces luck. But this impression is caused by a feeling of superstition—neither more nor less. What one wants in front of the table is a really scientific mathematical system. This I am prepared to give.
Take a Napoleon as a unit, making up your mind to lose up to a certain sum, and do not exceed that sum. Now back the colour twenty consecutive times. Don't double, but simply keep to the unit. When you have lost to the full extent of your limit, double your stake. Keep to this sum for another twenty turns. By this time it is a mathematical certainty that you must either have won—or lost. Of course, if you have won you will be pleased. If you have lost, keep up your heart and double your stakes again. This time you will be backing the colour with a stake four times as large as your original fancy. Again go for twenty turns, and see what comes of it.
Of course, if you still lose it will be unfortunate, but you cannot have everything. And with this truism, I sign myself,