Aide-de-Camp (at the review). "What are you doing here, sir? Where's your regiment?"
Party on the Grass. "Shure I don' know. Bu-r I don't rec'nise your 'thority, gov'nour!"
Aide-de-Camp (furious). "What the deuce d'you mean, sir? You're a Volunteer, aren't you?"
Party on the Grass. "(Hic!) Norabirofit!—Was jus' now—bu-r I've reshigned 'n cons'quence—temp'ry indishposition!"
"Summing Up."
Captain. "What's the charge, sergeant?"
Sergeant. "This time it's drunkenness, sir. But this man is the most troublesome fellow in the regiment, sir. He goes out when he likes, and comes in when he likes, and gets drunk when he likes—in fact, he might be a horficer!!"