During Tea
Yes, isn't it a pretty sight.... Oh, they're much too busy to talk at present.... Well, if you would take this cup of tea to my little girl, dear Mr. Muffett, it would be so——Yes, in the white frock.... Pray don't apologise—some tea upsets so easily, doesn't it?... Oh! I don't suppose it will show, really, and if it does.... Please, will everybody keep quite quiet for a minute or two; I haven't said my grace.... Don't you think it's unfair of nurse? She's handed me bread-and-butter twice running!... I mustn't eat sponge-cake, thank you. Bath buns are better for me than anything.... I was so ill after Christmas. They took my temperament with the barometer, and it was two hundred and six!... Oh! that's nothing. When I was ill, the doctor said mine was perfectly Norman!... Well, you might lower that candleshade a very little, perhaps, Mr. Muffett.... Ah! don't blow it out.... Throw it into the fire, quick!... It doesn't matter in the least. No; I wouldn't trouble about the other shades, thanks.... Mother, will you read me the text out of my cracker?... But if you're going to be a soldier, you oughtn't to shut your eyes when you pull a cracker.... Oh! when I'm a soldier, I needn't go to parties.
During a Performance of Punch and Judy
A Thoughtful Child. What a dreadful thing it would be to have a papa like Punch!
A Puzzled Child. Mother, why is the man at the side so polite to Punch? He calls him "Sir"—is Punch really a gentleman?
A Good Little Girl. I do wish they would leave all the fighting out; it must set such a bad example to children.
An Appreciative Boy. Oh! I say, did you hear what the clown said then? He said something had frightened all the hair off his head except that little tuft at the top, and it turned that sky-blue!
[He goes into fits of laughter.
A Matter-of-fact Boy. Yes, I heard—but I don't believe it could.