Young Masher (to rival). "I say, old, chap, I hear you're an excellent runner. Is that true?" Rival (eagerly). "Rather!" Young Masher. "Well, then, run home!"
Aunt. Why, Tommy, I've only just taken a splinter out of your hand, and now you've let pussy scratch you. How did that happen?
Tommy (who has been tampering with the cat's whiskers). Well, I was only trying to get some of the splinters out of her face!
