IN DESPERATE STRAITS
Jones (blue ribbon—to abstemious lady he has taken in to dinner). "Look here, madam, we don't seem to be getting on a bit! Either you must have a glass of champagne, or, by Jove, I must!!"
THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID
Guest (who is a bon-vivant, to host, who isn't). "You must come and dine with me, Jones!"