The Consciousness of Importance.—Mrs. Brown. "We are having some friends to dine with us on the twenty-fourth, Mr. Green, and want you to come and help to wait at table, as usual." The Family Greengrocer. "On the twenty-fourth, ma'am? I'm sorry to say I'm engaged on the twenty-fourth." Mrs. Brown. "Dear me! How unfortunate! We are so accustomed to you, and you know our ways." Mr. Green.."Yes, ma'am. Couldn't you write and put off your friends till the week after, ma'am?"
THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID
"By the way, your friend O'Leary dined with me last night. What a dull dog he is!"
"Oh, that depends on what company he's in!"