ALARMING SYMPTOMS AFTER EATING BOILED BEEF AND GOOSEBERRY PIE
Little Boy. "Oh, lor, mar, I feel just exactly as if my jacket was buttoned."
BROWN AND JONES OVER THEIR WINE
Jones. "How would I take Cronstadt? With vigour and decision, nothing more easy. My dear Brown, look here. This table is the Baltic, very well. Now look—(Jones places certain strawberries for the forts; the city of Cronstadt on this occasion only being represented by a plate of gooseberries at the back.) Here we are. The strawberries the forts: Cronstadt the gooseberries. Now a little vigour and decision! This spoon is the Duke of Wellington, three-decker, leading the van. We go in here, firing both broadsides at once, to destroy the forts to larboard and starboard; while at the same time our guns in the bows and stern-sheets smash the other forts before and behind. Very good. We are then in front of Cronstadt—the city of Cronstadt. We shell that, sir; shell it of course! Blow up the powder-magazines; capitulation ensues; the Russian fleet is in a blaze, and, my dear Brown, that is how I would take Cronstadt——"
Brown. "—— After dinner."