HORRIBLE SUSPICION
Old Gentleman. "Oh, waiter, why is it that a dinner off the joint is five shillings, but if you only have made dishes and soup, it's two shillings and sixpence?"
Waiter. "That, sir, is on account of the very high price of butcher's meat just now, sir."
SELF-EXAMINATION
Party (slightly influenced). "Queshion ish! Am I fit to go intodrawingroom? Letsh shee!—I can shay gloriush conshyshusn!—Have seen Brish inshychusion—all that shortothing—thatledo—here gosh!"