Young Wife. "Where are you going, Reggie dear?"
Reggie Dear. "Only to the club, my darling."
Young Wife. "Oh, I don't mind that, because there's a telephone there, and I can talk to you through it, can't I?"
Reggie Dear. "Y-yes—but—er—you know, the confounded wires are always getting out of order!"
PAST AND PRESENT
Serious and much-Married Man. "My dear friend, I was astonished to hear of your dining at Madame Troisétoiles!—a 'woman with a past,' you know!"
The Friend (bachelor "unattached"). "Well, you see, old man, she's got a first-rate chef, so it isn't her 'past,' but her 're-past' that I care about."