"Now, George dear, it's your first birthday in the new century. What good resolutions are you going to make?"
"Well, for one thing, I intend to be much more regular in my habits."
"Why not give them all up, dear?"
FAMILY CARES
First Excursionist. "Int'restin' ruins these, sir."
Second Ditto (the bread-winner). "'Mye-es. 'Don't care for ruins m'self though." (Pointing to his olive branches in the background.) "Them's ruin enough for me?"