Brown. "I say, old man, who's that very plain elderly lady you were walking with—now sitting here?"
Smith (the impecunious, who has married money). "Oh, that's my wife."
Brown. "Your wife! But"—(lowering his voice)—"She has only one eye—and so awfully—I beg your pardon—but——"
Smith (pleasantly). "You needn't whisper, old man. She's deaf"
LOVE IN LACONICS
He. Love you! Have me, dear?