"Sharp's the Word!"—Wife. "Poor mamma is dreadfully low-spirited this morning, George. Only think—she has just expressed a wish to be cremated!" Husband (with alacrity). "'O'b-less my——" (Throwing down his newspaper.) "Tell her to put her things on, dear! I'll—I'll drive her over at once!!"
ON THE CARDS
Young Wife. "Oh, mamma, do you know I believe Alfred's going to reform, and give up gambling!"
Her Mother. "What makes you think so, dear?"
Young Wife. "Why all last night he kept talking in his sleep about his miserable, worthless heart!"