My run is an adipose trot,

My "chances" I never can see.

I am never invited to bowl,

And though, p'r'aps, this seems like a slight,

In the depths of my innermost soul

I've a notion the Captain is right.

In short, I may freely admit

I am not what you'd call a great catch

But yet my initials are writ

In the book against every match!