I feel it when things go most cross,
Better do a fi'penny doss,
Than never do a doss at all!
University Sympathy.
First Errand Boy (after the University Boat Race). Wot 'ave yer got a light blue ribbon in yer button 'ole for, Tommy?
Second E. B. (promptly). 'Cos our 'ouse allus sells Cambridge sausages!
A Matter of Taste.
Vulgar Parvenu (who is watching the interior decorations of his house). "Don't you think that tapestry 'eats the rooms?"