Agricultural Parishioner (wishing to ingratiate himself with the new curate, who had given a lecture on the previous evening). "Thank ye, sir, for your reading to us last night." New Curate. "Glad you liked it, John. I was a little afraid lest the lecture might have been just a little too scientific." Agricultural Parishioner. "No, bless you, sir, not a bit of it. Why, we in these parts be just like young ducks. We do gobble up anything!"
"None but the Brave deserve the Fare."—The Rector's Wife (at school feast, to one of the boys, who had been doing very "good business"). "What's the matter, Noggins? Don't you feel well?" Noggins. "No, m'm,—but—I'll hev—to be wuss, m'm—afore I give in!"
The Substitute.—The Rector's Wife. "Oh, Mrs. Noggins, I should really try to break your parrot of his habit of swearing in that awful way!" The Widow Noggins. "Well 'm, I finds it such a comfort to 'ear 'im. Makes it seem more like as if there was a man about the 'ouse again."