Tompkins. "No, thanky', master; that won't do for me!"
Farmer. "Why, man, you'll be the gainer; for the cider you had wasn't worth two shillings!"
Tompkins. "Ah, but you see I drinks the cider myself; but the ow'd 'ooman 'll 'ev the two shillun'!!"
A Puzzle in Horticulture.—Little Chris. Daddy, what makes onions?
Daddy. Seeds, of course.
Little Chris. Then what makes seeds?
Daddy. Onions.
Little Chris (triumphantly). Then why don't us feed the canary on onions?
[Discomfiture and retreat of Daddy.