Admiral Peppercorn (very irate at being delayed, wishes ladies would play on their own course). "No, sir, but there's a goose club at the 'Pig and Whistle,' I believe. Try that!"
Golfer, whose ball has lodged under stone, has had several unsuccessful shots, and finally, with a tremendous stroke, smashed his club.
Old Man. "You put me in moind of my old jackass."
Golfer. "What d'you mean, you idiot?"
Old Man. "Yer've got more strength than knowledge!"