"As Clear as Mud."—Irish Waiter. "An' will yer 'anner have an inside kyar or an outside kyar?" Inexperienced Saxon. "Oh, an outside car, of course; I don't want a covered conveyance; I want to see the country." Irish Waiter. "Oh, shure, nayther of 'em's covered." (Closing door and preparing for a luminous explanation.) "It's this way, it is, sir. They call 'em inside kyars bekase the wheels is outside, an' they call 'em outside kyars by rason the wheels is inside!!"
A Good Listener.—Reverend Gentleman. "Well, Tim, did you leave the letter at the squire's?" Tim. "I did, your riv'rence. I b'lieve they're having dinner company to-day——" Reverend Gentleman (angrily). "What business had you to be listening about? How often have I told you——" Tim. "Plaze your riv'rence, I only listened with my nose!!"