Clerk. "Return?" Pat. "Phwat for ud Oi be wantin' a returrn ticket when Oi'm here already?"
Every man shall be qualified to sit in Congress that is a 10 lb. pig-holder, provided that the pig and the member sleep under the same roof.
Members of Congress will be remunerated for their public services. Gentlemen wearing gloves only to have the privilege of shaking the president's hand. The unwashed to be paid at the door.
Pipes will not be allowed on the Opposition benches, nor may any member take whiskey until challenged by the president.
Under no circumstances will a member be suffered to sit with his blunderbuss at full-cock, nor pointed at the president's ear.
Our ambassadors will be chosen from our most meritorious postmen, so that they may have no difficulty in reading their letters.
The Foreign Office will be presided over by a patriotic editor who has travelled in New South Wales and is thoroughly conversant with its language.