"THE POSTMASTER ABROAD AGAIN"
Pat (to clerk). "Surr! I sint tin shillings to me brother through the post, an' he tills me"—(fuming)—"he niver got 't!!"
Clerk (calmly). "At what office did you get the order?"
Pat. "Shure, thin, it was to yoursilf I gave the money, an' be jabers I've got yer receipt for 't!" (Produces money order in a fury.) "Look at that, now!!"
INCORRIGIBLE!
Irish Attorney (to his clerk, who has taken the blue ribbon, and has been "celebrating the event"). "I'll not stand it, surr! Wid yer plidges! Instid o' takin' plidges ye're always breakin', ye'd better make no promises at-all-at-all—and kape 'em!!"