Word-painting.—Sportsman (who has just lost a good fish). "That was a good one, Tim." Tim. "'Doed then it was! He was as long as an umbrella, and had a side on him like a shop shutter!"
"General Utility."—(Scene—Hotel Stables, North of Ireland.) Captain. "Hullo, Pat! What the deuce are you doing to the old mare?" Pat. "Well, you see, Capt'in, our old black hearse horse went lame yesterday that was wanted for Squire Doherty's funeral, so I'm paintin' up the ould grey for the service. You see her body won't show, by rason o' the housin's, and I'll have to wash her clane ag'in for Miss McGinnety's weddin' on the morrow!!"
"Exclusive Dealing."—Irish Landlord (boycotted). "Pat, my man, I'm in no end of a hurry. Put the pony to, and drive me to the station, and I'll give ye half a sovereign!" Pat (Nationalist, but needy). "Och shure, it's more than me loife is worth to be seen droiving you, yer honour. But"—slily—"if yer honour would jist droive me, maybe it's meself that moight venture it!"