"NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND"
Respectable Man. "Dear me! I'm sorry to see this, Muggles! I heard you'd left off drinking!"
Disreputable Party. "Sho I 'ave, shir—(hic)—jesh 'ish very minute!"
Obvious.
Stingy Uncle (to impecunious Nephew). "Pay as you go, my boy!—Pay as you go!"
Nephew (suggestively). "But suppose I haven't any money to pay with, uncle——"
Uncle. "Eh?—Well, then, don't go, you know—don't go!"