CHRISTMAS COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR
Cabby (to Gent who has been dining out). "'Ere y'are, sir. This is your 'ouse—get out—be careful, sir—'ere's the step?"
Gent. "Yesh. Thash allri, but wersh my feet?"
Employer (who simply WON'T take any excuse for unpunctuality). "You are very late, Mr. Jones. Go back at once, and come at the proper time!"