Northern Crœsus. "Oh! I'm so glad to meet you here, Mr. Vandyke Brown. The fact is, I've a commission for you!"

Our Youthful Landscape Painter (dissembling his rapture). "All right—most happy—what is it to be?"

Northern Crœsus. "Well—my aged grandmother is going to London by this train—and I want to put her under your protection."

[Our Youthful Landscape Painter dissembles again.

PATENT FIRST-CLASS COSTUME FOR THE COLLISION SEASON

Traveller. "Yes, it's decidedly warm, but there's a feeling of security about it I rather like." (Yawns.) "Any chance of a smash to-day!?"

[Drops off to sleep!