Dodger. "Hullo, how are you! Can't stop, though, or I shan't miss my train!"

Codger. "Catch it, you mean."

Dodger. "No, I don't. I always used to miss my right train, so now I always miss the one before it, and get home in time for dinner! Ta, ta!"


APRIL 1

Mamma. "Oh, I am so glad to meet you, professor. You know everything. Do tell me what time the train that stops nowhere starts."

[For once the professor is not ready.